Biscuit Tiers

(Sam Connolly) #1

Just a normal Friday night, flip on the kettle and grab some oreos out the jar, and sit down at my desk and I’m realise I’ve been duped with this absolute monstrosity. That’s right, an Oreo with the outside piece facing the wrong way. It ruined me biscuit, the texture was completely off. It’s for this reason I’ve demoted Oreos from from my God Tier Biscuit List. Anyway, this has sparked a debate about the tier list with the scousers. Chocolate biscuits count!

So here’s my tier list as it stands:

God Tier:
Choco Leibniz
Fox’s Golden Crunch Cream
Caramel Wafers

Tier 1:
Orange Club
Jammy Dodgers
Shortbread (The clagginess bumps it down a tier)
Chocolate caramel hob nobs
Maryland Chocolate Chip
Caramel digestives

Tier 2
Custard Creams

Shit Tier:
Rich Tea (Any biscuit that gives up after a singular dunk is just disappointing).

Post your biscuit tiers! And before anyone says it, a jaffa cake is a cake, not a biscuit.

(Sam Hignett) #2

No honourable mention to Choccy Hobknobs? No point even acknowledging the tier list at this point.

(DayC) #3

Oreos God Tier

(-.---.) #4

Chocolate Malted Milks need their own S-tier, thanks. You know I’m right.

[liverpool shitpost right now]

(DayC) #5

(Chloe) #6

The hero we need, yet don’t deserve.

(Ben ) #7

God tier- Chocolate caramel hob nobs!

(Sam Connolly) #8

I’d say tier 1, it’s a quality biscuit but only with a good dunking. A god tier biscuit should stand its ground without dunking

(Adam Harwood) #9

Where is the goddamn listing for Maryland Chocolate Chip and Hazelnut cookies or jam filled Wagon Wheels?

(Sam Connolly) #10

Maryland added, as for Wagon Wheels, don’t be silly, they’re not worthy of even being in shit tier!

(Dean) #11

Are they even big enough to be called Wagon Wheels anymore? I think Go-Kart wheels is a better description.

(Adam Harwood) #12

Wagon Wheels are better than shit tier… They don’t fall apart after dunking as they are held together by the Marshmallow.


Gotta say, Wagon Wheels are definitely not shit tier, however they can’t be a biscuit, they are a strange and confusing presence in the biscuit aisle

(Gavin Rainey) #14

Gotta say, Caramel digestives go in differently.

@Rod you have been summoned

(Sam Connolly) #15

That’s a quality redeeming feature, the dunkage capability of a wagon wheel is great. However the actual taste of a Wagon Wheel is a letdown, and that’s the main feature of a biscuit.

More to the point, who dunks a wagon wheel? Unless you’re using a sports direct mug I’m not even sure how you’d get it in

(Gavin Rainey) #16

Also these are S+ tier

(Tom Cannon) #17

These are god tier. No question

(Sam Connolly) #18

I’ve never had one of these, but they look incredible. What are they called?

(Gavin Rainey) #19

StroopWafel, you can get them in sainsburys, they are dutch caramel or honey filled wafers, put them on top of the cup and they melt a bit then go gam

(Dean) #20

Find someone going to iSeries via Birmingham New Street. They have a HEMA in there now which is a Dutch store. Get them to buy some from there, will be far better than from an English store. They are decent from English shops, but the Dutch ones are incredible. Put it over your tea to melt the middle.